Only Happy When It Rains
by unleashed-demons
Summary: I'm not the same Cat who I was. I have fractured. I'm breaking bit by bit. I've become darker, moreso like Jade and I wouldn't be scared to look inside her brain anymore because maybe we'd match. /Cat;Jade/


_I only smile in the dark _  
_ My only comfort is the night gone black _  
_ I didn't accidentally tell you that _  
_ I'm only happy when it rains_

_"Only Happy When It Rains" - Garbage_

* * *

I shift in my seat, growing a smile across my lips. I always chatted with the owner before the shop closed. It seemed almost natural, and they seem to enjoy it too. I've been a little distant from the group lately. Robbie is always a nice treat to be around, but he's more like an expired candy that you're not sure you should eat or not. I don't understand why he pets my hair and calls me his kitten. I'm not a cat. It's just something unreal to me. I've never really liked a boy for long. But Robbie was never really a boy.

"Oh dear, I'll have to shut down soon. We'll see you later, Cat." The owner tells me sweetly.

I glance over, noticing Jade. "Oh hi, Jade. You're out here pretty late!"

I like standing in the rain. Jade only smiles in the dark. I witnessed it once. The night gets all complicated. Jade once told me the sky's blue because it's sad, but I don't get it! Why would the sky be sad? It's like a deep depression when the sky cries. I've never seen it smile, but I don't want to live in a world like this. But it's only ever yellow sometimes, when the sunsets. It's rare. Why isn't the sky yellow? It seriously needs a color change.

"Cat? What are you doing here?" She asks pointedly, my eyes fixed on her, searching for her face in the dark. She takes a deep breath, a whoosh of air coming out. "You know, you're exactly like a pet. Don't wanna get lost or the pound might get ya."

Jade doesn't see right through me because I'm always acting like a child, but do you know how it feels to really look at yourself and see what other people see? I don't know. It's dark right now. But Jade shows her dark outlook on life, while I hide it. I don't get it though. Why would you want somebody to know you're sad? I don't think she's all that miserable. She's just a dark person, dark like me.

"I was chatting with the owner. They're so nice and give me free bread when I talk with them. Do you think they think I'm homeless? I don't want that to be my impression!" I cock my head slightly. Half the time I don't even know what I'm talking about. I put up an innocent smile, taking a seat by Jade. The ground's wet, but I don't mind. I like the rain and the night sky. I glance up at Jade with bright brown eyes. "So, what are you doing here so late? I thought you'd be at home."

Jade doesn't like being told what to do. She goes anywhere, really, and I wish I could be like that. Do I count as a fake person? Not having plastic surgery per sey, but my friends don't know the half of me. They only see what I want them to see, and if I can't be real to them who am I? But I do it anyway.

She snorts. "I don't do what I'm told."

"Ah, anyway—Oh my god, you're all wet! The rain got you!" I sound out, slipping off my jacket. I hand her my jacket with a smile. "Here, now you can be a snuggy bug." I fold my arms into my chest, feeling the cold breeze blow through.

Jade isn't equally mean to me as everybody else. Maybe that's because she knows I won't leave her, but what are we? I'm a pet to her. But it's better than being on her hated side like Tori. I don't think she's ever really hated me. She just looks at me like I'm a joke, like I'm not real. I don't know how to explain it. I should stop talking to myself. I think I'm going insane.

She cocks a studded brow, glaring at me with an eat shit or die look. "Cat, what the hell? I hate bright colors."

I lower my gaze, tilting down at her with an almost hurt expression. "The color has nothing to do with being cold!" I protest, crossing my arms and letting a small huff escape my lips.

Jade has a lot of complicated layers that make my stomach churn because I simply don't get her. I don't like mean people but she's not all that mean. And I'm never surprised by the sudden roughness in her voice.

"I can deal."

"Cranky." I tease playfully, battering my eyes in the dark to swipe away the rain drops.

Despite what others see outside my shell, I'm not the same Cat who I was. I have fractured. I'm breaking bit by bit. I've become darker, moreso like Jade and I wouldn't be scared to look inside her brain anymore because maybe we'd match. My acting is starting to falter, but nobody notices because they don't feel the tension. Jade thinks I'm too ditzy and bubbly but maybe she'd like the daredevil Cat that I hide behind dark corners. I don't break character.

Jade sucks in an airy breath. "I'm not cranky."

"You never smile."

Jade chuckles tartly. "I am smiling. I only smile in the dark."

I purse my lips into a firm line. "Still cranky."


End file.
